Hey all! So ever notice how no matter how hard you try you just cant get oil and water to mix they always seperate....Well thats how I feel latley about this deployment and living in alaska and just alot of other things. I hit my wall and hard the other night...I dont know if it was the all day of traveling, hormones going crazy, sad about saying goodbye to a friend, the freaking depressingly cold weather, coming home to a destroyed house that took an HOUR...yes i said an hour in the middle of the freaking night in the snow and below zero weather to get into, or being alone...or hell a combination of it all but I broke. Its been 6 months and I think ive stayed pretty strong and hung in there for it being my first deployment...but im ready to call it quits. Maybe to some that makes me weak but in all honesty I just dont care...the way I feel about it is why MAKE yourself miserable by staying in a place that you hate, that no matter how hard you try you just dont fit in so you feel alone...hell you are alone! In all honesty thats just crazy and silly! It may be alil crazy but I rather be around people who may not understand what it is im going through with my husband gone but who can still make me smile and geniuenly be there for each other then around people who know what im going through but are so terrible to one another. Actually I take that back its not crazy at all! I think its crazy that we all cut each other down just because were lonely, or well shes new, my husband doesnt like her husband so i hate her, her husband got promoted and mine didnt....I mean HELLO!! we are all in the same situation we should be there for each other and help each other out when needed no matter what because lets be honest weather you are married to an officer, or a private...its your fifth deployment or your first we are all scared,worried, alone, having many sleepless nights while they are gone....why make that harder on each other...shouldnt we be trying to make atleast some part of the days they are gone easier for each other. Now this isnt about everyone...not EVERYONE does this and im not trying to offend anyone just venting about how I feel but in all honesty if this offends you...maybe you should do some thinking cause you are probally doing some of this stuff. I had alot more that I wanted to say...but its the middle of the night and im exhausted and forgot so im just going to end this here. Hopefully i got my point across! Night all!
